6/8/2010 - Left Kanoa for First time for one hour while I volunteered for CFGC map project

Kanoa did a funny thing today while we were at Alford Lake with Devi and Maria.  He kept wanting to look in the garbage cans!  I wonder if he was interested in them because we have a felt book called Elmo Goes To School and he is intrigued with Oscar the Grouch's felt piece (which has been lost for a while now). 

This evening, after a warm bath and just after playing her Nintendo DS in bed, Kana sang beautiful songs (songs she made up) about flowers and rain and growing and summer and fall and even one for Kanoa while he was nursing.  Then she made one up ....something about being eaten by a crocodile!  And she giggled as I was surprised!

From 5:30pm - 6:30pm I helped our group (Citizens For a Green Camden) get signatures of pesticide-free properties today at the voting area in the firehouse.  We got almost 250 signatures!  Our neighbor Sid came over and said that one of my young daughters (it must have been Katie) asked him if he signed the sheet (to say his property was pesticide-free) and he told her he couldn't because he sprays DDT all over it!  He laughed and laughed!  (I still haven't had a chance to ask Katie about that!) 

After helping out, I attended a talk tonight at the library about writing.  I liked this part especially: "A writer writes."  It doesn't have to be published.  You just have to write to be a writer.  Craig, the presenter, did a great job explaining and sharing what he does.  Here's a piece written about the workshop:

 “The Written Parent” Workshop June 8
“Writing is not only a way to remember our children’s first years, but also a therapeutic necessity for anyone sorting through the confusing emotions of parenthood,” he adds. “I believe this workshop benefits writers and non-writers alike.” Craig Idlebrook writes about parenting, politics, and the environment for more than 30 publications. He is an editor for DadsAdventure.com and a contributor to Mothering, Funny Times, and Bangor Metro. His essay “Attack of the Killer Ducks” will be published in the upcoming anthology "A Cup of Comfort for Father."

After the workshop, Jim took Li. Kana and Kanoa to the harbor while I took photos of Katie in the fragrant and beautiful clovers on the lawn by the public library. 

We all then went to the harbor and saw a school of fish!

What kind of fish are these? 

The end of a busy, full day....

PS. I left Kanoa with Jim for the first time today for the Citizens For A Green Camden work (he was sleeping and I was five minutes down the road with my cell in my pocket). He was still sleeping when I got home, but had woken up and cried for a few minutes before Jim walked him back to sleep. Although he only cried a few minutes, this is a reminder to me that I still need to be with him as he usually doesn't cry when he wakes up or if he does, he instantly stops when I immediately nurse him back to sleep. I know Jim thinks all was fine, but I will keep him with me next time. He still needs and wants *me* (or he wouldn't have cried....I could have nursed him and thereby comforted him and he would have gone back to sleep). I want to be available for him. I want Jim to know he is a great dad and we both are great parents for Kanoa, but I think I still need to be available for Kanoa almost all the time. Maybe if he were awake when I went and they were playing it might have been okay. It was still not bad according to Jim. But if I were available, Kanoa might have woken up and cried a minute once, not a few minutes three times. I like to think how I would feel if I were the baby...that puts what we need to do to best help him in perspective. There is nothing more important to me than being there for my kids. If they want me, I want to be there for them. I especially feel this way with babies and toddlers and very young children. But I imagine that if my older kids wanted me to stay and they just didn't feel comfortable, I'd stay (if we couldn't work something out so we both felt satisfied). It must be hard for fathers to see their wives being needed more when they feel capable of taking care of their toddlers (and might sometimes think that the baby should be fine being with them since they are capable...almost as if the father is blaming the baby for wanting mom instead of being okay with dad...or thinking things are okay (even though baby cried) because dad could get baby back to sleep or delay the crying for a bit longer. There is a time for these tactics......when mom is having a dental appointment for example or if mom *must* work. However, if it is a voluntary activity, then mom makes a choice of baby or other priority each time she leaves. Fathers might be appreciative that their wives take such care of their children. But, they may sometimes feel jealous. When breastfeeding, a child obviously needs mom. This might lead to a very close relationship (esp if attachment parenting is practiced) between child and mom. And again, though Dad is loved too, mom might be preferred. However, some kids love mom too, but prefer Dad.  Whomever the child needs at any particular time is who the child needs.  I want to be there (as much as possible) until I really feel my child is okay about me not being available.