Feeling Sad

Katie said yesterday (while we were driving to Maine Sport with Keely and Li and Makana) that she wanted to try going to school! Gasp!!!! I was horrified and said NO way would I ever let her go to school. Then I calmed down and said that perhaps she could try it for three days (if they let her), but that I wanted her to read The Teenage Liberation Handbook and The Underground History books first. I would like her to read some books that I feel discuss clearly and sensibly why I think schools are not a good choice. I must say that I also feel like somehow I am a failure because perhaps I have not provided a stimulating, interesting and entertaining environment for her. What am I missing? Here at home she can do what she wants, learn what she wants when she wants to, etc. We have involved her in piano, painting, theatre, soccer, basketball, etc but somehow it is not enough. When I asked her what she thought she wanted to gain from going to school, she said that she just didn't know what it was all about and wanted to try it out. Basically she is curious. Her two best friends live in our neighborhood and go to school.

I feel so scared, disappointed and saddened by her wishes. I at first wanted to say NO WAY and stick to my guns. But I don't want to lose her trust. My husband says she has been watching too much Zoe 101! LOL! She really has been getting into all these books about school and like Jim said, she has been watching lots of shows where school is a big part of the show.

Read as much as I could find on AlwaysUnschooled in the archieves about kids wanting to go to school. Although it is always somewhat helpful, I just have to get through my own experience and make the best decisions I can respecting her choices and wishes and trust her as well as myself. I hope I can get through this one! Got to get up to bed with tired Makana. Will call the school tomorrow to see if she can visit. I can't go with her as my other two kids would be a distraction and it simply wouldn't be allowed.