Katie Tries School

On Sunday, Katie asked if she could try out school. Initially I ranted about the negatives of school and inside I felt rejected and like a failure for not making our life like what she wished it to be. If our homeschooled life was such fun, then why would she want to go to school? However, I took some deep breaths, thought more, apologized for my initial reaction and we discussed the idea over a couple of days. I also read as much as I could find about it on various online homeschooling yahoo groups.

She listened to all of my reasons why I disliked the idea of her going to school and why I felt it was a bad institution for children. I had suggested that she read the Teenage Liberation Handbook and Underground Education, but she said that they are just other people's opinions and the only opinion that really matters is hers. Well said! I explained that I would like to meet whatever underlying reasons she had for going outside of school. I listened to her as she explained that she just doesn't understand or know about school and that she is curious to find out what it is all about. However she told me that she will probably want to go after visiting for a day because she will be so excited. She also told me that this Wednesday is crazy hair day and asked if she could get blue hair dye!

Yesterday morning I spoke to the Middle School office and arranged for Katie to go for a day. I was even able to speak to the bus director to get permission for her to ride the bus. We went into the school yesterday to locate the Main Office. We had a chance to meet the principal (who was very nice) and discussed Katie's hope to go for three days to get more of a feel for school. The principal (Maria?) said that it would be fine for her to come for Wednesday and Thursday this week, but that Friday would be kind of crazy as they are having some kind of thing going on after 4th period. We were all pleased.

Jim and Katie purchased temporary scented Hannah Montana blue hair dye last night. Katie was exstatic! Li had gone with them and was very angry he couldn't find red hair dye. Jim even looked in more than one store - and this was after Katie's play and prior to going home or having dinner. They did find permanent red hair dye, but Jim wouldn't buy it - maybe he didn't want Li to dye his hair red or he knew I think dyes are harmful to people. Jim said that Li was very upset in the store and on the way home. He still was angry for a long time at home until after his long bath. Glad he felt better, but wish he had not used up all of the expensive organic shampoo and the organic California Baby bubble bath that we have saved for a future special bubble bath. Li told me that he used them up and then said, "But I didn't use the white one" meaning the cream rinse. I think he told me because he felt bad about it as he knew I wouldn't like it - I don't think he really understands that they are expensive - he doesn't really get that yet. I didn't make a big deal out of it, but did tell him they cost alot and how much ...not that he would get it, but more for me than him. And asked him to scrub his feet with bar soap next time. In bed last night Li brought up the whole dye thing again. He said that he wanted to do it because he told someone he was going to and that if he didn't stick to what he said, that people wouldn't trust him next time. I said that it is true that people may learn not to trust others who say something and then do not follow through. However, that I felt this was something that he could change his mind about and most people would still have trust in him. I told him I'd research how hair dye affects people and if I can find some info stating it doesn't get into the body or scalp, maybe we could do it. And I am totally fine if he wanted to keep looking for red temporary hair dye. Li seems in better spirits this morning.

Last night we made her lunch. Her clothes were already laid out on the bed. She and Keely had picked them out carefully. Brianne's hand-me-down cool camophlage jeans and her new blue shirt. Katie tried to go to bed about 10:30, but by 11:15 or so she yelled downstairs and I went up and snuggled her. Makana came in and snuggled and nursed and then wanted to go to our regular bed. So we did.

This morning I woke at 5:50 and nursed Kana until 5:59. I turned off the alarm and woke Katie. She got up at got ready. I helped her with her hair. It was fun! I did most of the blue smelly streaks and made a part in the middle of her hair for her. She did the glitter where she liked. Then we came downstairs and got her lunch into her "satchel" as she used to call it. Now she calls it a "bag." It really is my old pocketbook.

She couldn't eat as she was too excited and nervous. She brought out my grandma's old silver necklace with a heart, but we couldn't get it untangled in the time we had left. She said that she sometimes pretends that Grandma is telling her to be brave, even though inside she knows it is her. She said how strange it is that people do those sort of things. I said I understood and was sorry I couldn't untangle it either. I said that it is sort of like how people use God (in my opinion, but hey, whatever gets one through this life with whatever strength you need to muster..each to their own.).

She wanted me to go to the bus with her. Wow. When I was a kid I would have been embarassed if my mom was there waiting with me. Jim felt the same way I did. So at 6:45am we headed for the bus stop. I know she felt so good about herself and this adventure. I too was excited for her.

We saw Keely coming our way and she had hair sticking out to the sides like Pippi Longstocking. She had flowers coming off the top of her head too! Definately crazy hair!! Took a picture of them with my cell phone. Now I need to figure out how to download the photos to the computer so I can post them here!

Erin came up Lantern Lane with Ian. They had green hair with sparkles. Katie ran off toward Erin shouting her name excitedly. Keely ran too. I asked them if I could take a photo of them. Ian said, "Do I have to?" No, only if you want to I replied. So he backed off and I snapped a shot of the three girls with their crazy hair-do's.

The bus came and they got on. I wanted to hug her goodbye, but I could see her energy was buzzing and I didn't want to embarras her. I looked up toward the bus, but they must have already sat down. They ride with high school students. The middle school students get off and the bus continues on to the high school. Wow. In NJ, each school had it's own kids on the bus. Guess this is more efficient and there are less kids here. When I looked up, I thought I'd see these happy kids smiling and waving to me. I then realized that perhaps Katie, Keely and Erin were the only excited kids on that bus. The rest looked like drones going through the day. I then remembered how it felt to be doing the same thing day after day and being very tired in the morning and just mustering up energy to do what I had to do. Kind of felt like that when I commuted to work on the train too, but with a little more choice as at least I could choose what kind of work I applied for and I was getting paid.

I was a little teary eyed as I was very happy that Katie was going to have an exciting day and I felt good that I was able to help her experience something she wanted to try.

When I got home from my walk (this is the second morning I got up early and walked), Jim asked me if I was okay. I said yes. We talked alot. He said that this is exactly what we hoped for her...to not be afraid of trying new things and experiences. And to have trust in her...from everything I send him (posts, daily groove) he said to have faith in her and that sometimes children surprise us. I appreciated him trying to comfort me.

So, we will see what happens. Don't think she would really get a feel for school unless she truly enrolls. Think even if she did, she'd eventually want to stop at some point. And if not, I'd either come to terms with it or we'd talk about it then. I do hope that she has a great experience today and gets some idea of what it is like. But...I do hope she doesn't like it so much she wants to go!!!

Oh, and I called Kelly Lovejoy last night. Had to talk to someone who understands my philosophy and lifestyle! She was so nice talking to me! Told me to take a deep breath! See how she likes it and call her back on Friday. That if she ever did go to school, make sure the school knows we don't want her there and she can come home whenever she wants. And make sure Katie is committed to do the work.

Why does Katie want to go to school? Well, besides natural curiosity, she is reading lots of books like "Eleven," "Twelve," and "Thirteen," and many, many other books that revolve around school or puberty and she is now into various bands and teen stars and watching sitcoms like Hannah Montana and Zoe 101 and Icarly, etc that involve school. Plus, her two best friends go and live in our neighborhood and talk about it. So, can't blame her for being interested.